the one.

Remember when you were like 17 and you kept asking people (and Google) how you know when you’re in love? And they always tell you, you’ll know. Infuriating. What kind of a noncommittal answer is that? Then, you knew. And you become the infuriating person that younger generations hate. It’s hard to describe. You don’t want to say “butterflies in your stomach” because this also translates to anxiety for others. Or “you can’t stop thinking about them” because that’s how I am when I’m angry at someone. Or “you can’t imagine life without them” because that is co-dependent as fuck. You just, know.

This works the same about The One. It is a stupid notion to think that there is only one person in the world for you. And that person happens to live in your same country, same state, same city - wtf. Ridic. Chris and I go back and forth on this because The One is an idiotic concept, yet we feel it. Noncommittal answer in the same general vicinity of “you’ll know”.

But it made me think about how people know. And how, a lot of people still don’t know but just follow the timeline.

I once had a friend, who now blocked me because my truth bombs were too real, asked why I married Chris when I didn’t want children. So, I guess she only sees marriage as a way to get children? Is that not a little bit sad to think about? Like, the idea of being in love and wanting to have a life together never occurred to her. It makes me think that love was never really felt. That it’s more about wanting to have children TO love rather than as a product of current love. THAT BUMS ME OUT. It bummed her out too but she later married her second husband so it couldn’t be that much of a bummer.

Then, Chris was asked how he knew I was the one. If someone asked me that, I don’t know if I can answer. It’s phrased in a way that says the end goal is to find The One so you have a measuring stick to review against. Whereas, I started thinking about The One when I found it and was like *insert thinking emoji here*. I mean, how do you know when it’s The One? If the plan was to find the one person to spend forever with, how do you gauge that? And how do you even find anyone? Because if I had an imaginary person to measure against when I was young and didn’t know anything, I would probably never find The One because of the insane standards I set.

So now I know why people marry for more practical reasons like having a partner to grow old with and having children.

Still, that bums me out.

Sincerely, Tania