i am still alive.

I have planned so many things for my blog. I was going to talk about making my own kefir, introduce more plants, show vacation photos (I have flown on like 16 planes since my Utah trip), and show more snippets of my everyday life so that my friends can be updated, and future Tania can peruse when she is old and gray. But every time I start to write something for my blog, I feel put off. I don’t hate the blog, or photography. I just feel like it’s sacred. To this day, I haven’t posted anything about Italy because I feel like that should be my own personal memory. Like sharing it would taint the experience.

Have you guys seen The Secret Life of Walter Mitty? It’s not particularly good or anything. It’s whimsical travel porn - so I’m into it. There’s a scene where a world renowned photographer decided not to take the photo of an elusive animal because the scene was so great, he wanted to keep it for himself. That’s how I feel about my life.

Last time I blogged, I complained about all of our projects. Well, my projects are still going strong - but there is progress! My front yard is 90% done. Big things are planted but we need to create a planter box for the jasmine I want, and find 4 plants to fill in a pot. Since it is now the end of summer, we might have to finish this next spring lest they die.

We also removed the spa and greenhouse in the back - WOOT! I am most excited/nervous about this. Excited because now there is backyard space. Nervous because we start excavating for the drainage work next week. Hoping the bill does not come to $25k as previously quoted by another company.

During all this, I have been worked to DA BONE in my regular 9-5p. Guys, don’t refinance your home because you might see a mass exodus of bank employees if the government doesn’t calm tf down soon. It’s been a shitshow. I want to complain some more about it except I recently GOT PROMOTED - WOOT! So I might be doing something right.

What else is happening? Oh yes, it is September and I am nowhere near being able to do a pistol squat. I’m also failing at forming true, meaningful friendships. I was initially bummed by this but realized that I had to transfer my energy to doing well at work, working on my home, maintaining my home life, and (obvi) have stellar vacations. We do this a lot, don’t we? Focus on what we failed at instead of shifting to the positives. Like, how I am taking underwriting classes! And - Layla no longer needs $4k worth of surgery to remove a dead skin that bled all over the rug. And - I am rekindling relationships with my sisters. And - after being chunky for 8 months, I am back to normal. And - I cut our trash by half each week. And - I found a cleaning routine that is easily doable every week. And - I have gone a full year without feeling antsy and ready for change. And - no earthquakes in the Bay Area (pray for me). And - no catastrophic fires in the Bay Area (pray for us). And - no pregnancies (pray for the world). Once more and louder for the people in the back — WOOOOOT!

Sincerely, Tania